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Two little boys, ages 5 and 7, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.


The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.


The mother sent the 5 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"


The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"WHERE IS GOD?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,
"What happened?"


The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,

"We are in BIG trouble this time!" "GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"
 
A man is a person who, when a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," lets her.

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, gets mad at him.

A man is a person who, when a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, and she gets mad at him, asks "What are you mad about now?"

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, and she gets mad at him, and he asks "What are you mad about now?" says, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."
 
Two men drinking at a rooftop bar on a skyscraper. One of them says to the other, "You know, the air currents around this place are amazing. You can step off the roof and just float."

"Yeah, right," the second guy says.

"Watch." And the first guy puts his beer down, walks to the edge of the roof, steps off, and, true to his word, floats around for a good thirty seconds before drifting back to the roof.

"Wow!" The second guy says. "I gotta try that!" He puts his own beer down, steps off the edge of the building, and plummets forty stories, screaming all the way.

The first guy grins, comes back to the bar, and quickly downs both beers as the bartender says, "You know, you're a mean drunk, Superman."

Rob
 
Mediancat said:
Two men drinking at a rooftop bar on a skyscraper. One of them says to the other, "You know, the air currents around this place are amazing. You can step off the roof and just float."

"Yeah, right," the second guy says.

"Watch." And the first guy puts his beer down, walks to the edge of the roof, steps off, and, true to his word, floats around for a good thirty seconds before drifting back to the roof.

"Wow!" The second guy says. "I gotta try that!" He puts his own beer down, steps off the edge of the building, and plummets forty stories, screaming all the way.

The first guy grins, comes back to the bar, and quickly downs both beers as the bartender says, "You know, you're a mean drunk, Superman."

Rob
Click to expand...

Oldie but a goodie.
 
An antisemitic asks a milk bar assistant, " do you have Jews here?" The assistant replies. " I have orange juice, lemon juice, blue berries juice, peach juice, watermelon juice........
 
I was driving down this country road one night and came upon a sign that read "DO NOT PASS."

So I slammed on the brakes. I sat there for awhile, and didn't see a cop anywhere, so I passed it. Kinda felt good to break the law.
 
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