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Movie alphabet

J

Jumping Ack Flash

WWII bomber pilots grow increasingly anxious about the flash of anti-aircraft fire ("ack-ack guns") over Germany. Very jumpy.
 
L

Fatliners - Five medical students attempt to live on the edge by barely overeating in an attempt to see how close they can get to being obese without actually being called "fat." It's really, really scary.
 
N

Cow, Voyager - The tale begins in the pastures where a cow is pondering its life choices as a cow. Suffering from a mid life crisis, the cow hops on a motor bike and rides out.

The cow mixes with Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper but falls out quickly because the cow can’t handle the tension. Alone, the cow ventures to Chicago where it accidentally got a ticket to a slaughterhouse tour.

It goes downhill from there for the cow, making the cow wish they had never left the pasture, right before being turned into ground beef.

It was an odd film to get an Xmas day release. Gary Oldman directed it and in the commentary he explained that he never knew it’d be so hard to get emotions out of a cow. Oldman hasn’t directed since then, saying the technology simply doesn’t exist yet to get cows to ‘emote’.
 
O

The Toking Of Pelham 1-2-3

Walter Matthau stars in this action thriller of the hijacking of a train under New York.
Four armed men take hostages on a subway during the afternoon. They demand 10 million dollars or they start heaving bodies out onto the track.
While Matthau, as the senior subway director, deals with cops, feds, politicians, the hijackers, tourists, and his mother-in-law, the hostages take matters into their own hands. First, someone offers a gunman a brownie... they end up hotboxing the entire train.
Anti-climax, it's hard to arrest stoned people in a hotbox.
"I said, do you understand- STOP GIGGLING!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THESE RIGHTS AS I HAVE- Fuck, get down from there! How'd he get up there? Who let him climb up... cough. Did we air out the train? I don't...

Where was i? Oh. These are not the droids we're looking for!! . Heeheehee. What?"
 
P

All The Resident's Men

After toppling the government, and adding the term (scandal)-gate to every editor's toolbox, Woodward and Bernstein find themselves addicted to outing shady figures.
In this black comedy, they take on direct-mail advertising, with their suspicion that ads are precisely targeted. Even fliers addressed to 'Resident' are the outputs of expensive data collection and sorting, but they're trying to hide which mailing list thry got you off of.
Part way into the investigation, a disaffected Woodward begins marking all his mail 'Deceased, Return To Sender.'
He starts getting mail offering specials for "Mr. Deceased, and the entire Deceased Family!!"
He shows Bernstein, who laughs far too long for the joke, but won't explain why. Just then, their editor slams open his office door. "Why am i getting tire coupons addressed to 'Mr. Phuck Offs, Jr.'?!!?"
 
Q

What We Queue In The Dark

New Zealand vampires attend a midnight showing of Carrie (mostly for the blood scene...). The line is long.
 
R

The Lock

English period piece filmed through the keyhole and portraying the drama in the drawing room when the second eldest son has gotten the governess pregnant, the eldest daughter is refusing to wed the member of the minor nobility chosen for her, and all the servants are striking for a Sunday half holiday, once a month.
 
U

The Man Who Shout Liberty Valance

Just before the man who shot Liberty Valance shot Liberty Valance, the man who shouted Liberty Valance shouted out, "Liberty Valance!" to alert Liberty Valance to the man who was gonna be the man who shot Liberty Valance. Liberty Valance ducked, making the man who shot Liberty Valance become the man who nearly shot Liberty Valance, because of the man who shout Liberty Valance.

This is his story.
 
V

The War Vroom

NASCAR officials try to navigate difficult social issues, civic responsibilities, basic human decency, and, like, kindergarten-level ethics in an election year.
And a race, now and then. Maybe. Time and weather permitting. Depending on the crowds.
 
W

Pillow - It’s about a man who awakens to find himself in a glorious hotel. He isn’t sure about where he is, but turns on the television.

He notices a suitcase and showers and gets dressed. Upon going down to the main level there is a massive breakfast buffet. He sees a newspaper and grabs it and walks to get seated.

He starts eating a good deal of food. He isn’t certain why he is so hungry. He finds it odd he has trouble reading the newspaper. He wonders if he forgot his glasses somewhere.

He eats and eats and eats and eats. Every once in a while glancing at the paper, but not being able to make sense of it.

All of a sudden he is jolted by a large buzzing sound. He wakes up in a daze. It was all a dream, but his head is laying flat on the mattress. He had eaten his pillow.

This was M Night Shyamalan’s last film as Hollywood threatened violent death if he made another.
 
X

The Eorcist

Father Merrin (Max von Sydow) faces off against a clinically depressed little gray donkey that has overstayed his welcome. But the donkey's dour mood seems a match for Father Merrin's every trick.

Merrin: "The Power of Christ compels you!"
Donkey: "Figures."

-----

Father Merrin: I cast you out! Unclean livestock!
Donkey: Got nowhere else to go.
Father Merrin: In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ! It is he who commands you! It is he who flung you from the gates of to the depths of Hell!
Donkey: I deserved it.
Father Merrin: Be gone...
Donkey: I can see your point.
Father Merrin: ...from this bedroom of God! Be gone! In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!
Donkey: Not much of an eorcism. For not much of a donkey.
 
Y

Star Ways

The story of the Dutch East India company retold as a space opera with lots of insurance scams and exploitation of populations of entire planets
 
Z

Czar Wash

Originally conceived as a musical, Czar Wash deals with the exploits of a close-knit, multiracial group of employees at a Moscow cleaning Company at the turn of the 20th century.
Richard Pryor stars as a politically incorrect jokester who is eventually arrested for slandering Nicholas II, and punished by having his hair set on fire in the public square.
 
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