Things that make you laugh...

[angelo]

Do you eat mushrooms? Where do you think they're grown?

 

[bilby]

Do you eat mushrooms? Where do you think they're grown?

In the dark.

 

[Keith&Co.]

I'm in the Supermarket for hte weekly shopping today, when a hand cups the cheek of my ass and wishes me a happy Father's Day.

So i stand up straight and before i turn, say, "Don't take this wrong, but i hope you're not someone my wife knows." Then i turn. A complete stranger stands there, blushing furiously as she tries to stammer out an apology. "These things happen. We'll laugh about it some day. Well, i'm going to start laughing right now, but you will eventually."

Then i came home and told my wife that the new aftershave is working.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

I just saw a chihuahua that looked like a tiny little husky.

 

[thebeave]

I'm in the Supermarket for hte weekly shopping today, when a hand cups the cheek of my ass and wishes me a happy Father's Day.

So i stand up straight and before i turn, say, "Don't take this wrong, but i hope you're not someone my wife knows." Then i turn. A complete stranger stands there, blushing furiously as she tries to stammer out an apology. "These things happen. We'll laugh about it some day. Well, i'm going to start laughing right now, but you will eventually."

Then i came home and told my wife that the new aftershave is working.

So, how are you doing? Hope you're OK, man. A lot sexual assault survivors don't want to talk about it, but just know we're all here for you if you want to talk.

 

[spikepipsqueak]

I'm in the Supermarket for hte weekly shopping today, when a hand cups the cheek of my ass and wishes me a happy Father's Day.

So i stand up straight and before i turn, say, "Don't take this wrong, but i hope you're not someone my wife knows." Then i turn. A complete stranger stands there, blushing furiously as she tries to stammer out an apology. "These things happen. We'll laugh about it some day. Well, i'm going to start laughing right now, but you will eventually."

Then i came home and told my wife that the new aftershave is working.

Nicely handled.

 

[angelo]

Do you eat mushrooms? Where do you think they're grown?

In the dark.

Yes, and on piles of manure!

 

[Keith&Co.]

So, how are you doing? Hope you're OK, man. A lot sexual assault survivors don't want to talk about it, but just know we're all here for you if you want to talk.

I'm hanging in there.
There's a support group in the freezer aisle, Men Who Reach To The Back Of The Shelf For The Last Pot Pie And...Shit Happens.
I've got a sponsor, he'll go to the freezer aisle with me next week and walk me to the pies.

One freezer at a time, one freezer at a time.

 

[Keith&Co.]

In the dark.

Yes, and on piles of manure!

Don't take this wrong, but I have to call bullshit on this.

Contrary to popular belief mushrooms are not grown in manure. This is one thing that I get asked about most often. Mushrooms are in fact grown in a pasteurized substrate, which yes does contain manure, but once the whole process is finished it is not even close.

http://themushroomlady.blogspot.com/2006/12/where-to-start-how-about-how-mushrooms.html

 

[thebeave]

So, how are you doing? Hope you're OK, man. A lot sexual assault survivors don't want to talk about it, but just know we're all here for you if you want to talk.

I'm hanging in there.
There's a support group in the freezer aisle, Men Who Reach To The Back Of The Shelf For The Last Pot Pie And...Shit Happens.
I've got a sponsor, he'll go to the freezer aisle with me next week and walk me to the pies.

One freezer at a time, one freezer at a time.

Cool. You're doing the right thing. Out of all the pot pie focused sexual assault advocacy groups out there, that one is the best, IMHO. They're in my local Safeway quite often. Though, they did get in scuffle once with the Women Who've Seen Men Excessively Fondle Melons While Staring at Them group. Let's just say I made a beeline for the exit that day!

 

[angelo]

The key word is manure. "Does contain manure". But!

 

[angelo]

Things that make you laugh is the holier than though attitude of most politicians!

 

[Keith&Co.]

The key word is manure. "Does contain manure". But!

I think the key word was 'piles' Are piles of manure involved?
No.

 

[bilby]

The key word is manure. "Does contain manure". But!

I think the key word was 'piles' Are piles of manure involved?
No.

If you have mushrooms growing on your piles, you should see a doctor; That is a bigger medical problem than can be addressed with Anusol alone.

 

[TV and credit cards]

I think the key word was 'piles' Are piles of manure involved?
No.

If you have mushrooms growing on your piles, you should see a doctor; That is a bigger medical problem than can be addressed with Anusol alone.

Though art such a commodian.

 

[Keith&Co.]

If you have mushrooms growing on your piles, you should see a doctor; That is a bigger medical problem than can be addressed with Anusol alone.

Though art such a commodian.

No shit.

 

[Angry Floof]

Not again. *runs out in dramatic fashion, slamming door behind me*

 

[gmbteach]

Though art such a commodian.

No shit.

I thought this was things that make you laugh - not punfest! After all that is where the toilet humour belongs.

- - - Updated - - -

Not again. *runs out in dramatic fashion, slamming door behind me*

Follows hylidae!

 

[angelo]

Well, mushrooms are a fungus.

 

[Keith&Co.]

I used to make patrols with a sailor who was...challenged, let's say, in accomplishing any task that required in depth knowledge and a need to hold two ideas at the same time.
For some of our evolutions, therefore, he was the logkeeper. We would complete a procedure, he'd be tasked with writing it down in the log. It' s not a complex skill. You watch the guys working and track their progress and write down completion times.
Well, evidently it was too complex because no one made a point of turning to Gray and saying, loudly and clearly, "We have completed Weapons Procedure X, which is step y of Procedural Guide Z." So during one retargeting, he threw down the log and his pen, shouting that "No one ever tells me nothing!" and stormed out.
So we told him everything.
Any time we started a procedure, for about the next month, we sent someone to wake him up or call him out of the movie and alert him. When the procedure was finished, we gave him a report (unless I was the one on watch... I often figured he'd be laying there in the rack just waiting for the completion report. SO I let him hang...). After that month, he apologized to the division and we stopped.

The next patrol, the Weapons Officer announced his impending retirement. So he wanted us to treat the Assistant Weapons Officer as Weps for the last half of the patrol, to get him trained up.

The first week, we were not in the habit ,yet, so there were some things we forgot to inform him of. So he got the whole department together, chewed us out, and insisted that we tell him EVERYTHING going on in the department.

Gray had only gotten start and finish times.

AWeps got... Oh, everything. Start times, finish times, alarms received, alerts, paper changes in the printer, vacuuming the carpet, changing light bulbs in the fuze tester... And we never started any maintenance until 20 minutes after chow. That's when he'd be just climbing into his Bunkie...

He lasted six days.

Be careful what you demand. People may be glad to give it to you.